IKKI THE ANGLE
Hyoga sat on the ground, and he was crying because ruffians had stolen his skateboard. Skateboards are cool; only really cool people like me and Hyoga are allowed to ride it, BUT THEN HYOGA’S JERK MOM GETS MAD BECAUSE HE ALWAYS FALLS DOWN AFTER FIVE SECONDS I HATE MY MOM GEEZUS.
Hyoga’s beautiful legwarmers were ripped and dirty; how would he star in that 80’s exercise commercial now? Mirin would surely take his place. Curling up into a ball, Ikki cried himself to sleep in the piss stained gutters. Wait, Ikki? Yes, now Ikki! Ikki’s cooler than Hyoga, anyway.
CHANGE OF HISTORY: IKKI BEATS UP STUPID SKATEBOARD STEALING PUNKS AND MAKES MY MOM STOP YELLING AT ME FOREVER!
Ikki makes skateboard go and PUMP IT UP, and he stars in workout video like- ONE TWO, ONE TWO, KEEP IT, UP TWO, ONE TWO! Then Ikki grows wings and becomes DARK ANGLE OF PHOENIX JUSTICE. Like Phoenix Wright but cool.
Shun gets beat up every day by cool kids like me, so he cries and usually Ikki laughs and then cries, but now angle Ikki beats up Shun, too! Shun is a girl! Hahahaha.
Then Ikki meets an angle lady with big boobs and he kisses her and he does the thing that adults do at night together that my parents do, but they won’t tell me; they say it is love making, but how do you make love?!